realizations and ambitions of a turning 25-year old woman.

tomorrow marks my silver year. it's been almost 25 years.

for that long period of time, i had fun, i got bored, i struggled, i stumbled, i wandered and wondered, until i became the woman that i am now -- a woman i am proud of but not-so-proud-of.

i went through things where i got a lot of learnings from, things i willed to happen and things i allowed fate to throw into me. i met a lot of people, wonderful ones and some i don't care for much, but both painted a different hue in my otherwise black and white world.

i've got dreams that i fulfilled and dreams i let go of, and i keep on cooking new ones.

i've made once-in-a-lifetime mistakes and mistakes that i keep on doing, some that are left undone and some that i would want to do.

i love but i was never loving.

i'm committed but not committed enough.

i judge people and i let first impressions last.

i'm strong-willed and levelheaded and opionated and argumentative and stubborn and harsh.

i'm passionate about work, goals, family, friends, communication and freedom.

for the most part, my life has been governed by logic and reason. i set boundaries and conditions. i watch people come and go. and when i'm lucky enough, i watch them stay.

for the next 25 years and more, i want to do some necessary changes and adjustments. i hope it's not too late. i know it's never too late.


i want to be soft and tender.

i want to stop thinking so highly of myself and see the goodness in others.

i want to celebrate the lives connected to mine and enjoy the times with people who stayed.

i want to stop questioning and i want to stop counting the hurts.

i want to be more understanding and caring and loving.

i want to get in touch more with my emotions and forget about reasons. i want to forget about them because they give more complications than explanations.

finally, i want to be able to love unconditionally this time around.