blabbers.

self-realization number 1: i am not as demanding as i thought i am.

i settle with a simple greeting for any special occasion that i celebrate. i don't actually require grand words. i don't measure my value thru the fancy words they use. the fact that the person remembered and took a minute or a few seconds of his 24 hours to greet me is enough to make my day, to make me feel special. neither do i require that i be greeted at exact 12 midnight. i appreciate greetings anytime of the day.


self-realization number 2: no matter how busy i become, no matter how occupied my mind gets, i don't forget things that i value so much.

in some ways, i envy people who manage to let some important dates slip without their notice.
how busy can one get to be able to do that? or how less important a day is to let it pass?

and i wonder, am i not that busy? do i have a lot of free time to remember stuff? or am i plain sensitive?

first-time wakeboarder.

very recently, i made a bucket list. and yesterday, i just fulfilled one goal.

me, complete with wakeboarding gear.

i didn't know how extreme wakeboarding is until i watched experienced, amazing and awesome wakeboarders on board, jumping, flying and going along and against the water live and in action,

...and until i got on board myself.


in the morning of our wakeboarding day, i joked around, telling my housemates to remember where to find my mom's number and to tell alvin how much i love him in case i don't keep myself alive after.


when my friends and i got to East Coast after work, i was purely excited. as first-timers, we're advised to use kneeboard instead of wakeboard. less thrilling, maybe, but safer, definitely.

when my knees are strapped on board and i'm positioned to be dragged harshly away from the coast, i then felt my heart racing, my legs shaking, out of thrill and fear. the excitement was gone. boy i was shrieking all the way after the take off!

20 meters away from the take off point, i thought i'm getting the hang of it, but even before i pass through the first obstacle, the cable wire dragged me harder and clinging onto the rope became unbearable. so as much as i hate doing it, and fighting against my own hard-headedness, i let go of the rope. the life vest served its purpose. armed with my board, body pain and fear of being run over by zooming wakeboarders, i swam back to the coast. after 10 minutes or so of pretend swimming and pushing myself back to land, i went to the start area to try once more. and the exact same thing happened: first curve, first obstacle, and i let go one more time.


after this, i know i'll be back and try many times more, after i shake off the body pain i gained some days after.

anyway, other than the pains and aches, i gained something bigger and way more significant --
the fulfillment of having pushed myself to the limit, of crossing the line, and of going out of my comfort zone.


and i promise to shriek less next time :)

the wakeboarding newbies: ate monette, jerwin, marvs and me.

bucket list

it's been a while since i watched that movie. and i remember myself being inspired to create my own list that time, until i was caught up by the usual stuff, college tuition to save up for, monthly allowances to send, bills to pay, and more money to earn, that i set aside creating one.

now, i thought about making one again. i don't know if it's quarter life crisis one more time (on a bright and positive light, by the way, regardless of the term "crisis"), or i simply feel that at 23 (and two more months to go before i turn 24), i'm young enough to enjoy life more than i ever did and old enough to dare myself to do the things i once gave up on.

so here goes my bucket list. (it's not complete yet because every so often, i get new ideas and i think of new things that i may just add).

1. try wakeboarding.
i hate the sea. (i drowned three times and i never learned to swim) maybe it's about time i conquer the sea, or at the very least, get acquainted with it. plus, i think it's a cool sports. :)

2. learn to play at least one instrument.
i was a lyrist back in grade school, but i don't think lyre qualifies at this time and age. i'm thinking of learning to play a guitar. my cousin used to teach me, but i gave up on myself even before he gave up on me. i'll try to be committed this time. one singaporean friend already volunteered to be my instructor! :)

3. be an expert on something.
i remember tets and i were talking about that one day. back then, i can't think of anything that interests me to research fully about. now, i'm starting to get fascinated with wine, it's vast classifications, unique flavors, and the country each originated from.

4. travel asia.
since the world is too big to travel, and my resources are not that much yet, i'll start with asia. being in singapore makes that plan easier and doable since malaysia and indonesia are just train-ride away.

5. learn a new language.
i know i suck in language. i've been in the province half of my childhood life but i am not fluent and confident enough to speak our dialect. i studied russian language back in college, but i only know how to introduce myself. so this time, i WILL learn either malay or mandarin. i must find one good malaysian or singaporean friend first who'd be willing and patient enough to teach me.


so there goes the list. i'm excited to actually do each one and i'm even excited to add more some time! :)