time to shine and time to share the spotlight.

you know something is worth your while when you still find yourself smiling --- hours after it.


this morning, i received messages from a new acquaintance, kuya bong (who's slowly becoming a new friend), asking me to do a recording with him. recording -- ah, it sounds so legit and grand! but no, it's nothing like that, at least for me. he and his churchmates are joining a contest and he happens to be the trainer. funny how he thought of recording my voice while singing their piece to serve as their guide during practice. really, that's hilarious. i don't mean to demean myself, self-deprecation is not my thing. but i am definitely aware of my best qualities, capabilities and talents, and singing, i know (and that, i know for sure) is not one of them.

i love singing. i go to youtube often, type in "(title of the song) with lyrics", click search and sing my lungs out. i have a total of ten voice records saved in my phone, several videos of my singing self, and videoke-ing is one of the things i love doing.

that was when kuya bong heard (and first knew) me. i was the girl who held the mic majority of the time during madz' birthday. i was the one who didn't allow anyone else hold it for more than two songs.

it's not as if glasses break when i sing. i never had a history of breaking anyone's eardrum either. i get the tones and tunes and melodies right. but i don't really carry a voice that is at par with rachelle's, tets' or ate monette's (these three, by the way, are my three good friends who, i really believe, will make lots of money in music industry should they decide to shift careers there).

so as i was saying, to receive an offer to do something as if i sing so well is uncalled for, unnecessary and unlikely. but kuya bong was not joking. he was so damned serious about it that he even offered to go to our place, meet me and get it done. he prodded me and he believed in whatever voice quality i have and he never gave me the chance to say no (the man, i figured, is not someone who will take no for an answer). he told me it is my time to shine. i should believe him, he is musically inclined, he can play the guitar and piano and he is a pro!

but it was not the prodding or the encouragement or the boladas that got me into agreeing. well maybe, part of it. but what made me say yes, wholly, was the fact that i offered the exact same thing to ate monette. i asked her to join me and i asked kuya bong to let her. and though it was not the original plan and what he had in mind, i'm pretty sure that the end result turned out to be something greater than how he envisioned it to be.

it's true. when you are given the chance to shine, it is far more rewarding when you share the spotlight.

the entire experience is truly worth my while. no. it's even worth posting and blogging about!


and have i mentioned the song, which i got to know just now, is really beautiful? i love the lyrics. here it goes..

mean catholic girl.

i don't tolerate any bad behavior.

i remember one good friend of mine labelling me as mean catholic girl. and i agree with her. i am a regular churchgoer. i am generous. i am helpful. i am kind (i know i am). but i can be mean too. and i mean really mean.

i know of people who don't seem to have a single mean bone in their body. i find them amazing. but i don't intend to be like them.

my former boyfriend told me that one of the things he liked about me is my being maldita. you may think he's nuts but i see his point. i'm a fighter. i stand for my rights and i don't allow anyone to bully me around. i respect only
those who deserve it. i treat people how they should be treated. i play fair. and my being a salesperson and your being a customer wouldn't change that. i don't really believe that customer is always right. that, to me, is bullcrap.

this, i know, is my attempt to rant. i'm ranting about the people i've personally encountered here in singapore. here i met the most lazy, dumbest, despicable and unsubstantial people i ever came to know, at least most of them.

i want to give case-and-point bases to explain my observation further but my one-hour break may not allow me to.

so let's just say, the locals here spoil each other. they set rules and they themselves break them. they ask the silliest-most-stupid-no-brainer questions.

my break is almost over so i'll rest my case for now.

the philippines needs our prayers.

photos regarding the incessant rainfall in the philippines spread like a wildfire all over the web. tweets and posts of friends keep on coming. they give me shivers.

my heart goes out to all the people i know back home.

and tonight, before i sleep, i say a little prayer for my beloved country and all the people in it.

keep them away, Lord, from any further harm this storm may cause them. and let this end real soon. amen.

i am a cerebral kind of woman.

i feel i owe the world a detailed narration of my break-up story. i actually promised i'll post one someday soon.

but it has been almost a month since it happened and i wonder whether it's lack of time or plain lack of interest on my part to actually share it in writing that i haven't kept my word until now.

except for the few selected friends that i trusted and shared my story with, i remained silent. i became less coherent when i write, i guess. and live conversations made me saner and more understandable.

then i came across this song and hearing the first two verses is like hearing my own voice.

"now and then i think of when we were together
like when you said you felt so happy you could die
i told myself that you were right for me
but felt so lonely in your company...

you can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
like resignation to the end, always the end
so when we found that we could not make sense...

but i'll admit that i was glad that it was over." - somebody that i used to know

truth is, we did not fall out of love, nor did we find someone else to love to lead us to this end.

i just found out we don't make sense anymore. perhaps, we stopped making sense long time ago. i was just too stubborn and firm in my belief that he was the one right for me. until things felt not right anymore. and that my search is not yet over after all.

to come up to this conclusion is not easy. i still get delusional sometimes. but everyday i just become more certain that i'm right about this. never been this right.