birthday blog

and i turned 24.

i planned about writing a birthday blog days before my actual birthday. and normally i do a countdown. but now, several hours past midnight, i still haven't composed well my thoughts. i even forgot to do a 10-day countdown. time flies so fast, really, especially when you go home tired and sleepy.

what am i supposed to say?

i step back a little and look at my life on bird's eyeview, to see clearly where i am now and where else i am heading. i contemplate on what i have acquired and what i still want to achieve in life.

well, to begin with, i don't have much. yet. if i am to think of material things, that is. but i'm confident that on that aspect, i'm on a good start and i'm heading to a good end.

what i want to focus on, rather, is the more important aspect. the most, actually.

more than the 24 awesome years, i'm richly blessed to have spent those 24 years with equally awesome people.

i'm thankful for my siblings. they are my favorite people in the world. they are my lifelines.

i'm thankful for nanay, for loving me even on the days that i am not lovable.

i'm thankful for the friends who stayed with me, made me feel loved, wanted and cared for even after they've seen my worst. i'm thankful, even, for the ones i lost along the way, for having shared some of their time and life stories with me. i'm thankful for the new ones i just met--for marva and ate monette, for sticking around even when i prove to be not an easy person to live with.

i'm thankful for my housemates, for being the family i share food, inspiration, laughs, and heinneken with.

i'm thankful for alvin, for the kind of love he gives, for his unbelievable patience (which i wish he'll never run out of), and for the good madness he brings.

except for a house, car and business of my own, there is nothing much i ask for in life.

seriously, i only wish for more birthdays to come...

so i'll be able to see more of my dreams and my siblings' dreams and prayers come true.

so i'll be able to find my future kids and joicee's and tets' and jona's and all of my friends' kids get along well too.

so i can celebrate more monthsaries and anniversaries with alvin.❤


so i'll have more stories to share, things to be thankful for and birthday blogs to post. 😃

headache

i had the worst headache last night. it's killing me. the pain is just too much i was moaning and crying in the bus on my way home.

it felt as if my head is going to crack open or something.

some say it must be because of stress. that, i don't agree. i just think stress comes from doing something you don't like. i totally like what i'm doing. stress, definitely is not the root of this.

so i don't know what, exactly. but whatever it is, i hope it won't happen again.

i pray it's the worst and last headache.

acknowledgment

so my 5-day vacation in RP was a whirlwind. surprisingly, i didn't feel "bitin" one bit. to sum it up, i spent most of my days at home. the only time i went out was when i attended the sunday kerygma feast with my sister and my lover. just that one time. still, i am able to meet few special people.

with very little effort on my part, and great effort on theirs, we got to spend quality time together. and i'm deeply, immensely, overly, grateful to them.

on top of my gratitude list is alvin. puyat and all, he fetched me at the airport, making himself the first person to welcome me on my little "homecoming." he's also been the last person i set eyes on when he sent me off on my trip back to SG.

then goes jona and rachelle. not only once did they visit me at home, but twice. and for working girls with odd busy schedule like them, finding time to see me is not easy. but they did. and we met. and we talked. and we sang videoke songs. just like the old times.

i'm equally grateful to joyce. hers is the greatest effort. all the way from her the fort office, on a rainy night, she visited me and stayed for a sleep-over. and the morning after, she worked half day just so we can have more time together.

of course, nanay and ate were still the best people on earth. home is home because of them.

so i'm back, so back in SG, happy, with a love tank so full, all ready and energized to work hard again.

♫♪♪ "coz when the heart breaks, no it don't break even" ♪ ♫♪

my heart breaks for marva.

how on earth can one person say he/she loves you so much one day, then tell you, plainly and coolly, "i don't feel anything for you anymore" the next? my friend didn't see it coming. we didn't see it coming. the other day, they were talking via skype. they were perfectly okay, in-love and happy. how can one's mind change in a snap?

i wish i can tell  him-her-whatever that love isn't like that. it's not something you give up on so cheaply. it's not something you throw away that easy when it's void of emotion, because love is not just based solely on that.

i wish i can make marva feel any better. i hugged her more tightly, the tightest i can. i cried with her, i still am, actually. i feel her pain. i know exactly how painful it is to be heartbroken. we all know.

in all honesty, she's the least person to deserve such kind of break-up, a break-up this ugly. but i'm sure it's for the best. she deserves a love way way better than this, after all. new love will come along sooner or later, one that is lasting, one that is for good.