twenty-something glory

i turned 26.

most people think that being twenty-something is the prime stage of everyone's life, the time when one becomes invincible, unrestrainable and capable -- of anything and everything. and you know what, i believe that's right.

when i hit this phase, i told myself i'll be exactly just that--that there's nothing in this world i'll merely tolerate, nothing i'll fear about, nothing i won't dare trying. i demanded, dared and willed myself to:

1. select friends carefully and wisely.

i made friends with beautiful people, each one contributing to my growth as an individual, each one performing a specific important role, each one i am extremely thankful for.

2. love my body the best way i ever will. 

i eat clean and healthy, as much as i can, as much as self-discipline permits me. i refuse to abuse and give it the rest and exercise it deserves. i became comfortable with it now more than ever. i enjoyed the sea wearing bikinis without the slightest hint of discomfort and shame. because i thought, when will i ever wear one? now is the time.

3. spend on holidays and getaways. i went to places i dreamed of going, even if it meant i fell short of my target savings. there will always be chances to save up again, but i will never be as young, as alive and as carefree. so i go, indulge and experience.

4. get that tattoo i've always deemed meaningful. 

i heeded nobody's approval and i won't mind anybody's disapproval. this is what i want to motivate myself with, and this is how i want to be reminded by, day in and day out.

5. let go of the relationship that stopped me from seeing myself as an amazing woman. yup! i am amazing and so are you and everyone else. i shouldn't just settle for something good or better. it's best or nothing. boy, it wasn't easy to let go. it was terrifying. it's painful. but just like getting a tattoo, for the liberating satisfaction that followed, it's worth it!

6. give my job all the energy and passion it requires of me.

i applied for it, i convinced those interviewers i am the perfect fit, i chose it. i can't just give it my halfhearted effort and attention. it's where all my resources come from. i got a lot from it--experience, money, reasons for waking up everyday, purpose in life--how can i not love it? i have nothing to complain but everything to be thankful for.

7. buy that life insurance. 

i know that the best way to prepare for the future is to do so at the earliest time possible. this is security and in the long run, this is financial stability. by far, this is my wisest, most mature move.

8. build my finances.

i try to spend but not overspend. i save as much as i can, of course without having to sacrifice my everyday need. i am more organized and strategic about it now. like how much goes to my mutual fund account and how much goes to my savings bank account.

9. make fresh new goals.

i'm working on it. it's just so delicious to keep on making new ones. ;)

10. stay goofy and enjoy everyone's company.

because that's where the youthful glow comes from. 

what goes in her mind as she moves on

"I think that if life separates us and we end up in totally different places, we’ll always remember when our paths aligned for this period of time and I’ll be thankful for that. And I hope that wherever you are, you’ll be thankful, too. And I think that’s the best we can wish for." - Josh (Strangers, Again)

i saw this on the facebook wall of my former college classmate. with this, her new facebook account and few other wallposts, my assumption is that she and her longtime boyfriend broke up.

there are few romances that i look up to (to the point of envy) and believe so firmly that will last for as long as they live. theirs is one of them. she's an awesome girlfriend, she loves without limits and shows it without hesitations. she was never demanding and she's faithful. she managed to keep their long distance relationship work without so much drama since we were in college. we are not really close friends but i know all these because i stalk her. i frequent her wall to keep myself inspired and motivated to be just like her or learn a little bit of her patience. i obviously didn't adapt any of it but i remained a fan. if she isn't an ideal girlfriend, then she's close to it.

i don't know how she's coping. what i do know though is that her awesomeness doesn't stop in being a girlfriend. she's an awesome person too. she takes the heartbreak maturely and pretty gracefully. she'll be fine soon enough.

i hold the same thought for her. wherever he is now, i hope he is thankful that their paths crossed too. he should be. for in that period of time, he'd been the luckiest man.

inked and loving it.

i'm in love with words. if you show me a man who's so good at saying the sweet right words at the right time, i'm sure to fall prey for him. i read an inspiring thoughtful line to perk up my day. (that, and a cup of coffee). and what is sweeter thing to do than have words close to my heart etched in my skin.

i didn't have to think hard. i knew what i wanted and where i wanted it to be. walking is my therapy and faith keeps me company.

it is not original. google it and you'll find the exact same words tattooed in many others' feet. but lack of originality doesn't make it any less meaningful. it is good to know that there are many others whom i share the same belief with, who would go as far as keeping it permanent in their body.

last year, for my 25th birthday, i was thinking of what out-of-ordinary gift i can give myself. i thought of getting inked. but maybe then i wasn't ready and wasn't daring enough. i let it rest. then i woke up one morning, twelve days before i turn 26, with an impulsive and intense desire to fulfill that, i should say, dream.

the pain is incomparable but i had my mind and heart ready. i welcomed the sensation with a gentle surprise and the softest cry. i'm kidding. i was biting my right thumb hard enough as i take the pain one word after the other. 

ten minutes later, i saw that the pain was worth enduring. i knew that my steps will be even more springy and i'd be happier to be walking around with it.

i'm glad that i went through this whole metaphorical process, that i'd be able to communicate something good to the world even without uttering a word.

and even as they say nothing lasts forever, we can actually choose certain things to last as far as forever permits. i choose this.

love, family & marriage

i read a blogpost about marriage and how it is not about "me."

i couldn't agree more. it's about the other person. it's about your future children. it's about who you want to raise your kids with and who you want to influence them. it's about who you want to love and live with for the rest of your days. it's about how you can support, inspire and make that person happy.

i am single and there are days when my itch to find the man for me is so strong, when i am convinced that i have so much love to give. sometimes the waiting and praying and hoping inspire me and sometimes, too, they despair me. often, i think of the men i know, from childhood to adulthood, from past and current neighborhoods, men from home and from work, boy friends from common friends and i wonder if he is among them.

i wonder about how much longer it will take for him to find me attractive and for me to find out he's the right one, or perhaps for the two of us to consider the possibility that we can be a match.

i like to believe that i am called for marriage, that i am destined to be a mom and a woman to my man. so even if i don't have the slightest idea of who i will build a family with and even when it despairs me sometimes, in most days, i am filled with anticipation and feel-good excitement.

i will always be a big believer of family, that to love and be loved is the greatest human experience and the wait will always be worth it.