dilemma, crossroad, however way you wanna call it.

why do things happen and why do we have to go through all these, not just once or twice or thrice, but countless of times?

is this the universe's way of telling us, "this is all about it, take it or leave it"?

i wonder if we're learning, if we are using the past experiences to grow, to become better, to deal with things differently.

i actually thought we've changed, that we learned the ropes.

only to find out that we never really changed, not at all. we are the exact same individuals we both knew, loved, hated, despised, forgave, and gave chances to.

he can never promise me to not sulk and run away at the height of any misunderstanding and disputes.

i can never keep my promise to keep my mouth shut when i don't have good things to say. i can never promise to be gentler when i'm mad. no matter how i try, no matter how hard.

i can never force him to talk to me when he's mad knowing that he'll only shout at me, in the same way that i can never make him understand that i can bear being shouted at than being ignored.

we fight differently. we cope differently. we appreciate different things. we laugh about different jokes.

why has it been so hard for me accept that? what's taking me so long to understand that?

this is all about it. take it or leave it.