whenever i see a man in his late forty's, square-jawed and thin, i'm reminded of my father.
i saw one again today.
it has been three years since he's gone. and it's gonna be our fourth christmas without him around. (he died five days before christmas in 2008).
when i was a kid, i don't remember asking anything from dear old santa. i simply know he's a make-believe. i knew so well it was our mom who kept on putting candies and lollies inside our christmas socks by the window. yeah, even as a kid i was a spoiler.
but now, i just want to believe that he's real. that somewhere in north pole, he exists. i want to promise him that i'm gonna be a good girl just so he could grant my wish.
that, for just one christmas more, tatay will be with us.
*maybe, lately, i just need the only man i look up to, his wisdom when i feel like i'm losing my sense, and his strength when i feel like losing my own. when i'm caught up with seemingly heavy responsibilities, i just want to believe in a make-believe like santa, and wish the impossible -- be tatay's little girl all over again.
aww:(
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