answered prayer. my testimony.

the singapore government enforced new policies. they limit the number of foreign workers to give way to their local citizens. or at least that's how i understood and simply put it.

on the onset, i thought we are all unfortunate to be affected by it. so this is what it means and how it feels to be laid-off. in our twenty-something glorious years, i thought we are too young to be facing such situation. in my previous jobs, i call the shots. i stay as long as i want to, as long as i'm happy. and i leave the moment i feel i'm not in the right place. but there's one more good thing about being twenty-something. most of us, if not all, were not crumbled by all this lay-off drama. we still believed we are invincible, that we can find new doors after one closed behind us.

what i thought was easy, wasn't, really. at the time, it was a futile attempt. the ones i knocked to wouldn't let a foreigner in. then there is this thing called timing. there were some doors that they kept open, but the opening is too small it can only accommodate one, or two. and i wasn't knocking at the right time. and someone else was. one good friend got in. and i'm happy for her. that was her luck and blessing.

so while i still have more than a month to stay in the company before my contract finally ends, i do the works on the side -- updating resume, submitting applications online, calling up potential employers. 

then my boss called me aside and told me she's talking to the human resource and she's doing her best to keep me.  i didn't expect that. i did not even ask her to do so. but on that moment, my heart swelled with pride and hope. maybe she can do something. maybe i didn't have to risk going to unknown. maybe i wouldn't have to step out of my comfort zone. maybe i'm destined to stay. and maybe i wouldn't have to spend money anymore for placement fees.

so when i received a few calls for job interviews, i didn't go. precisely because i am half-hearted about the job, but mostly because i was hoping and waiting for the good news my boss will give me.

at the very last minute, on my very last day at work, she tried and did the best she could. but the management cannot do anything. and i said it was fine. because it is, really. i don't do much to change a situation. i don't push and fight a losing battle. i change the one thing i can -- my mindset.

then unsolicited pieces of advice kept on coming. one really concerned friend told me to work harder in finding a new job. that i am too complacent, that i need to be serious about my search. that night, i came home crying. wasn't i doing enough? were they right to think i am negligent and slacking off? self-doubt tried to get the better of me and lodge somewhere. but that was only on that one night. i don't have to assure anybody that i'm doing the best i can. and i won't let them set the barometer of what's enough and what's not.

then i figured what these concerned people were looking for. they want to see the signs of panic, of urgency, of pressure, of worry. it's human nature. but i didn't show any. as my days of stay in singapore were numbered, i didn't think of it as the end of the world. if i don't find the right opportunity at the right time here, i can always go home to my country.

here's my deal. i'll stay until my special visit pass expires. i'll exhaust my luck. and only then will i go home.

here's my prayer. if i am to work in a retail and sales industry again, it has to be a direct hire, meaning, i shouldn't spend a dollar. i'll only seek the assistance of recruitment agencies who pocket a huge amount of money from applicants if it is an office job. i even bargained that a one-year contract will do.

here's what i did. the following day, after my last day of work, a recruitment agency called and scheduled me for an interview for a sales job. i forgot about my deal and went. i passed the first interview. i proceeded to the second one.  throughout the process, i felt something was wrong, i don't completely like to get the job. and i told Him to let His will be done. i did not hear from the company again after that. and i was relieved.

here's His answer. direct hire, no placement fees. service-oriented and not sales-related office job in an established institution. reasonable working hours. good pay. and overwhelmingly, a three-year contract.

the answered prayer was delivered in full yesterday. today, i am still over the moon. i learned and relearned a whole lot of things after this crazy chronicle. for one, we can never outdo His generosity. i realized i wasn't praying properly, i limited what i ask for when He can actually give so much more, when His blessings are limitless. also, timing has a lot to do with all these. i quoted this before and i'll quote this again, "it is never too late or too soon. it is when it is meant to be." had my previous boss not tried her best to keep me, i wouldn't have something to hope for, i would have grabbed any early opportunity that came my way. it was the pause i needed, the "hold-on." then there was that sales job that i failed to get. it was the comfortable "no." 

and it's only now that i put the pieces together, it's only now that they make a clear sense. that "hold-on" and "no" are what led me to this "yes." indeed, it was worth the wait.

all these were bound to happen. sometimes, we have to be uprooted and be planted somewhere else so we can grow new roots and bear new fruits.