one. then, the one.

we were in my favorite coffee shop yesterday, doing our usual thing. him, ordering coffee/chocolate drink, me, eating full rice meal. then, the real business. english tutorial session.

i'm talking about jaden, my 26-year old korean student.

sometimes we discuss movie clips, song lyrics, a book chapter. sometimes i drop questions, from simple to complicated. sometimes we discuss random things. he's up for anything, as long as he'll learn english.


i noticed i sound harsh whenever i correct his pronunciation so i asked him if he gets offended by it. yes, mean as i am, i can still be sensitive at times. to my relief, he said it's okay. i told him how much i hate it to hear anyone mispronouncing words and how much control i try to muster to not appear bossy or superior in correcting someone. it made sense to him that i am impatient in many aspects.


and i haven't kept track exactly how our conversation led to his questioning of how many boyfriends did i have. boy, you should have seen that pained look on his face when i said, ONE. he said "just one?" over and over again as if doing so would change the already given count. it's as if it was very unfortunate of me, like i was cursed or something.


so yes, that was the not-so-short background to what i've got to say, really.

here's the real thing.

there are many times i contemplate about that aspect of my life.

lovelife.

i once wondered if i was really a loser, if i wasn't given much chance and choice. but then i think again and realize that no, i'm not a loser, and no, i actually got several chances. little chances, i know, but chances still. i declined some date invitations and approved some. i met men old and new. and no one seemed to be the one i would love to love. none, yet. so staying single is pretty much a choice.

whenever i see a beautiful couple, not only on superficial level, like the newlyweds bro. george gabriel, one of the kerygma feast preachers, and dinah, i get kilig and hopeful that i'll find a love like theirs, first class.

see how they look at each other? i long for that moment when i will look at someone the same way.

i know i'm choosy. i also know it's my right to be. i believe it's just about knowing your worth, and your target market. (haha)

no, i'm not looking for a saint, nor for someone perfect.

maybe i'm just looking for a love so beautiful. lasting. inspiring.

and i wouldn't want to increase my count in finding it.


*one day, that day, and all the days after, i would love to say a line similar to tets', and mean it, with all my heart and mind, to my own harthy, to the one i love to love.
so tets, let me again borrow one of your awesome thoughts.

"And Harthy, oh my Harthy. I’m still searching and thinking of the best way to connect a word after another just so I could perfectly describe how much I love you. So for now, I hope this will do: falling, choosing and staying in love with you are the best three acts that I  look forward to doing every single day."


ain't love grand?