love (and madness)

posted: today. written: 07-24. 11:36 pm. for insomniacs, this is still quite early, but why do i have a feeling that the whole world is sleeping at this time of night except me?

except for the rhythmic snore of my beloved sleeping in the living room, the tinkling sound of the window chimes, and the humming of the electric fan, nothing else sound so clearly except for my bothered mind.

lights off, and i chose to keep it that way. the light from my laptop screen is the only light that keeps me company at this odd hour. i rest lappy on the kitchen table as i begin to pour out all my cluttered thoughts and crazy emotions on a then-blank notepad.


what had just happened?

when i woke up this morning, the only thing i looked forward to was seeing alvin and attending the kerygma feast with him – nothing extraordinary except that today, we celebrate our eight-year anniversary.

well, i take that back. maybe i was expecting for something more, for a bouquet of roses perhaps, a box of chocolate, or a simple token that would remind me that this sunday is unlike all the regular sundays we spend together.

little by little, though, bizarre things began to unfold. first, alvin sent me messages with a minute or so interval asking me where i am. as usual i’m on a bus on my way to megamall where we always meet up. it’s unlikely of him to be that impatient since he knows so well that i send text replies quite late when i'm on a road trip.

when i arrived in megamall, i did not inform him yet that i’m there and i decided to quickly meet my highschool friend, chuckie, whom i had prior arrangement with. i met him in krispy kreme and we were having a little chitchat when alvin entered the scene. surprised, i asked him how he knew we were there. he simply said he was passing by and saw us. of course i didn’t completely buy that idea thinking chuckie might have informed him where we were. but alvin broke my suspicion when he asked for chuckie’s number right there and then. alvin also said he’s suffering with lbm that we had to attend only the mass and skip the inspirational talk part of the k-feast. i told him that we can buy medicine to aid that but he snapped that meds like those don’t have effect on him. i was disheartened to hear that we had to skip the best part of the feast, but seeing him all sweaty and tensed, i conceded. that must really be a bad case of lbm.

after the mass, we walked past by unisilver in megamall. a few steps away from the stall, he told me that we backtrack and check out rings for a while. like a spur of the moment idea, he told me that we better buy a new ring in exchange for the one he gave me years back. after buying one, he got the ring and kept it in his pocket. i wondered why he didn’t give it to me right away but knowing him, i thought maybe he wants to add a little drama when he gives it to me at home.

our next stop was goldilocks. he said we have to buy a cake to complete the celebration. i was rooting for the junior-sized chocolate mousse while he insisted for a large brazo de mercedez. i know he is matakaw, but i didn’t see the point of buying a large one when the only people at home are nanay and ate, and since i’m not a fan of that flavor i am not much of a threat. the disappointment on my face was even obvious that he sensed it so well.


fast forward...
when we were nearing home, i noticed that our gate and door were wide open. i heard our videoke playing and someone singing. i commented it was nanay. goodness of all goodness! there they were, seven of my highschool friends at home, chuckie included, having the time of their life.

there were a lot of food in the table. nanay was busy in the kitchen. as i grabbed food to feed my rumbling stomach, i asked away a lot of questions left and right, trying to make sense of everything. i am not even halfway through eating when alvin got up and took the microphone from the one singing and asked them to sing in chorus, as he started talking.


i think i know what is coming…

it wasn’t exactly a proposal, of course i wouldn't accept a unisilver ring for an engagement ring, though he made it appear like it was a pseudo-proposal, or a mock proposal, or whatever. (alvin wants to refer to it as a despidida party for me of some sort too, hence the crowd.) with trembling voice and sweaty forehead, he addressed his “speech” to nanay, informing her that one, we really are a couple, (i didn’t inform nanay that alvin is my boyfriend again, though i know it has been quite obvious to her), two, that it has been eight years now (which was an even bigger revelation to nanay since she only know the “second time around,” she didn’t know that alvin has, in fact, been my boyfriend back in highschool), and that third, he seriously loves me and he's equally serious that he wants to marry me in the future. i know nanay was bewildered, and i kept assuring her that it was all “char” and told her not to take anything seriously.

as for me, i don’t know exactly how many times i said leche, how loud my screams were and how mean my tone was when i demanded alvin to stop using the microphone (i didn’t want the entire neighbourhood to hear him and his drama). and yes, he reserved the ring for this moment.


for the record, this is the biggest and the most effortful surprise i ever had in my life.

but truth is, it didn’t make me happier. flattered, maybe. awestruck, definitely. but i realized i am not a fan of surprises, of big grand surprises at that.

yes, alvin was oh-so-awesomely-amazing. i give A for effort (the plan was made, i learned, weeks ahead). i'm impressed at how good they kept it secret from me. nanay was even an accomplice (but she admitted she didn't know alvin will give such speech). i was glad to see my friends, but i thought i can see them at another time. i thought i can very well organize a get-together when i want one.


i still and will always delight in simple things. for a special day such as anniversary, my idea was to spend it in as much personal and quiet way as possible. sweet and simple.
no fuss, no grand speeches, no sweat. just me, alvin and pure love.