i am not a daddy's girl and neither was i his favorite kid. i still believe that majority of the time, he favored the pretty-angelic-faced ate over the snob-tough-and-maldita-looking me. no sibling rivalry intended, anyway.:)
it is, however, safe to say that he was my first love, the first man that awed and amazed me. it must be his wit, humor, and tough love that made me wish, as a young girl, that someday i'll find someone like him. he was the authority i look up to and respect highly. it was his decisions that mattered to me other than my own.
last march 8, he should have turned 48 if not for his untimely demise more than three years back (reminiscing makes me wonder, has it really been that long?). he should have been a young father to grown-ups--ate at 25 and baby at 20. he should have walked with me on my college graduation march. he should have been a proud and beaming father to a up diliman graduate. it's something that he looked forward to as much as i did. and he should walk me or ate or baby, whoever marries first, down the aisle in the future.
whoever i am now, i say that for the most part, i owe it to my father. i learned how it is to become responsible and independent and self-sufficient because he taught me how. and he believed in me more than i believed in myself.
at 22, at the age when young men just start to dream, become idealistic, liberated and exploring, he became a father. and whether that was planned or unplanned, he and nanay did a great job through the years. they were able to raise four awesome children.
he was my biggest fan and my best critic. i can vividly recall how intently he listens to me whenever i have to speak in public, like the bible readings in church, the welcome address on my high school graduation, the impromptu and extemporaneous speeches during school competitions, my reading of class will and testament on our high school prom, my declamation pieces even. he never missed a single moment. always, i'll spot him in the sea of people, nodding in agreement and sometimes shaking his head. and he'll tell me how great i spoke, how pleasant my voice was, or how silly i sounded. he'll tell me the proper way to pronounce a word the next time i read a bible verse in visayan dialect.
i'm way past the age when he became a parent himself. over the years, i came to realize that being so is the hardest role one can ever play in this lifetime, and how he managed to do a very good job is something that blows my mind away.
one day, someday, when i become a parent myself, he'll be my inspiration, just like how he has always been in all my undertakings.
i miss you terribly tatay.
nice one ate. :)
ReplyDeletethanks bebe.☺
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